In play news I'm becoming a more active LJ'er . I joined a land com land_deduction some weeks ago, and I'm entering lots of challenges, and just recently I've joined a couple of icon challenges, Icon that and icon_bingo in addition to benedict_stills which I've been in for some time. I'll make a post soon with all my challenge icons. Also I've been invited to and joined a com called rewatchoneers where members re watch shows with the view to icon them.
In further news while I am broke now I can foresee a time within the next couple of weeks where I wont be. Of course then I'll start driving lessons which will put me right back at poor again but a least I'll be doing something I want to with my money, and it'll be extra motivation to pass real quick.
|You Are Dreamy|
There is a lot going on in that imagination of yours, and you would be content to daydream all day if you could.
But of course this is me so there has to be some issue and this is it, my fellow staff staff member is off sick because her dog was rushed to the vets, and that means I'm all alone tomorrow still not having much of a clue yet as to how resolve the problems I'm supposed to be dealing with. Because we're new someone is hopefully coming to supervise us next week but there was no one for tomorrow.
I felt less anxious about this at least having my fellow college for support even if she was as new and clueless as me, but unless she comes back tomorrow I'll be completely alone, and I'm not ready for that. I've been shown all the systems, but only today did the trainer actually sit with me and go though emails showing me how to solve the issues from start to finish exactly as I'll be expected to do. We only did a handful and I doubt tomorrows problems will be the same ones I now know how to resolve.
I'd planned out my journey, walked to the location to be sure I had an idea where I was going and how to get there/back should I need to walk, the change of address has rendered this pointless. In my new estimation the travel is only slightly longer by bus but now involves slightly more walking, plus its now too far to walk the whole way, and taxi will cost over £10. Also I was quite happy when I thought it was next to a lovely lake and now it's not this disappoints me.
In addition to this I'd lied to my mum and told her I already started (long story but called all distressed and wants me home, had I told her I'd not started yet I'm quite sure I'd have been told turn the job down and move back in) of course I told her about the old address and how it was next to lake and info about buses and taxi fares that aren't true, and now at some point i'm going to get caught out in this lie and there will be hell to pay.
In news with my dad, mum is not coping well at all, she phoned me in tears about how dad is to difficult for her to handle and how he's fading away, but at least I'd calmed her by the end of the call. I'm 99% sure that all thats happening is exactly what we all knew would, my dad is using the cancer card to spend all day sleeping or watching TV because this is exactly what he wants to do, and what he would normally do if not working. This is not a sign of sickness, lazing about watching TV on the couch all day is normal for him, he's never been active ever. My mum saying she can't handle him alone means she has to argue to get him off the sofa and drag him out for a walk, even if I was home he wouldn't listen to me any more than her. Maybe I'm selfish but my sister is there, mum just says shes at work all day, I get the idea when I come home I won't be allowed to work and will need to be on beck and call 24/7 and I'm sorry but I'm not prepared to do that until the end when dad will need full time care. I don't want to give up my life here. Also my sis still plans to move out the second I come home so she can go and start a new life while I give up mine.
Also I got yelled at for not going home, but I can't afford to its a £40 trip and I've not had a full wage in over a year, mum of course pointed out how she'd offered to pay, which a complete lie, but you can't tell her that, also she might pay once but she won't be forking that kind of money out regularly, even if she did it'd be held over my head for life.
This doesn't change anything does it? Its just my ego being stroked that making me think twice. I told the agency my dilemma and they asked if the other job paid more, maybe I could use it as leverage for more money, but IDK, like I said it doesn't really change anything does it? Any way I've been given an hour and half to think it over, before they call me. I have to say no don't I? I feel this decision should be easy but it's not, job one may be more laid back but it doesn't feel secure. IDK why, I guess just because I dont know all that much, I've not met anyone and I start in 5 days (Only 2 working days) and still nothing is sorted. No laptop, no training info, it feels like a gamble, but then again it could be me being anxious and paranoid as I tend to be. Laptops can be shipped overnight, training will begin on day one I assume even if I don't know what it entails.
Option 2 the job at Stantander bank answering questions regarding card services which is quite diverse, with calls from balance enquires to lost cards to complaints. This job is local (very good) but the training itself is not, also I've meet lots of people who hated working there. Also from the interview (which I did very well and came across as very professional) the role play part I found hard: maths, typing and speaking at the same time. I actually forgot to fill out most of the computer form and had to do it after the call which I pretty sure I wasn't supposed to do. This gives me issue because with a real live customer I'm going to have to work out calculations whiles talking and making notes and unlike the interview I cant make notes after because I'll be on the next call.
Job 2 has a better rate of pay than job 1 for the first 12 weekd but job 1 which starts just above mimum wage rises after week 12 to higher than job 1 rises. I'm going to try walking to job one's general area today and see if it really is an hours walk. My instincts tell me job 1 is the better fit, but job 2 makes me feel so much more comfortable because I know more about it and its walking distance. Also being offered a job without an interview is also unusual enough to make me feel uneasy. In short I think i'll cope better in job 1 but everything about it makes me feel uneasy. I don't think i'll cope with job 2 so easily, but I still feel much more at ease about it.
I'm hoping a walk to the area of job one and a bus back will help make my decision. Because travel time and ease is a big factor for me. I can cope with long journeys if they are easy but if its hard to find or requires lots of changes thats going to put my anxiety right up before I get to work.
And yes I do realise being offered two jobs for the second time this year, makes me a very lucky girl when other people struggle to get even one but I really could use your opinions on which one to take.
Starting in under a week without seeing the place or meeting any people or even knowing the exact hours makes makes me very nervous. There was talk of me being sent a laptop to take to work which worry's me, its obviously not your standard call centre set up then, maybe I'm working out an office in delivery office? IDK. And I've no idea about training, I asked the lady but she doesn't know anything yet.
In other news I have an interview tomorrow (9am!) for a job I'd applied for before, and given up on (there was some issue and I didn't get contacted when I should have). This job is for santander bank and i've met many former santander staff at interviews and the general consensus was don't work for them. But it is 10 minutes from my house, and at this point I still want to keep my options open, santander are looking to take on over 100 staff so if I look fairly competent i'd say my chances are good. The money on this one is less than the last and training is not local but the big selling point is the job is in walking distance. I might end up with two jobs offers again.